The 5 W's of Wellness

In the course of the work I do with my clients around their wellness goals, I challenge them to cue Taylor Swift’s “Anti-Hero,” and lean into the things they are doing or not doing that prevent them from reaching their goals. Often, that involves taking a look at what I call the 5 W’s of Wellness - the Who, What, When, Where, and Why. Understanding these things help you put together the HOW around building your wellness portfolio.

Let’s dissect that!

WHO

Take stock of WHO you surround yourself with. Do they support you, or do they drag you down? Do they influence you in a positive way or a negative way? What changes can you make to ensure that the people around you motivate, inspire, and support you, rather than stand in your way?

Also, take stock of WHO you are. What are your core values? What is important to you? WHO do you want to be? Are your daily actions in line with your core values and who you want to be? If not, why not? What can you do to change that?

The natural consequence of this exercise may be that your social circle becomes smaller. And, while that might sound scary, I encourage you to be open to the possibility that a smaller social circle of people who respect, love, support, hear, and value you, and living in alignment with your values is a much more fulfilling way to live than a life surrounded by people who don’t truly care about your well-being, and you feeling out of sorts because you’re not living a life that is true to you.

WHAT

WHAT conversations do you have with yourself (and…would you say those same things to someone you love)?

WHAT beliefs do you have about yourself and what you’re capable of that result in patterns of behaviour that limit your success or don’t align with your goals?

WHAT negative self talk do you have, and WHAT is the origin of that?

WHAT are your values? Are your goals and daily actions in line with your values?

Under WHAT circumstances do you struggle? WHAT is happening before/during/after difficult circumstances? WHAT plans can you put into place to create better outcomes for different circumstances, events, or instances? 

WHAT are some supportive things you could be saying to yourself, rather than the shameful things you currently say to yourself?

WHEN

WHEN do you struggle? Are there certain times of the day/week/month that are more difficult than others? What plans or strategies can you put into place to alleviate the pressure during these times? What things do you say to yourself in your head that pre-emptively set you up for difficulty or failure during these times? What habits and behaviors have you learned over the years that contribute to the difficulties?

Are certain times of the year more difficult than others - holidays, corporate events, vacations, weddings, anniversaries, camping season, BBQ season? What plans or strategies can you put into place to help you feel more confident during these events? Which boundaries do you need to create around these events - the people you attend with, the number of events, the set up of the events, the unwritten rules around the events?

WHEN you feel like you have fallen off track, do you shame-talk yourself, and throw in the towel? Or, do you recognize that when things feel off kilter, it’s actually part of the path you’re meant to be travelling at that moment, and there is something that you’re being urged to learn and incorporate moving forward? And then, do you look for the lesson?

WHERE

WHERE are you when you struggle? Do you find it easier to stick with working toward your goals when you’re on home base? Maybe you can stick with your goals when you’re with your own family, but not with your in-laws. Maybe hanging out with one group of friends is easier than with another group of friends. Maybe one restaurant is easier to order from than another. Maybe one gym feels more welcoming or has better access to equipment than another. 

Make a list of the places that you find are more challenging for you to stick with your plans. Then, make a list of things you can do to change those things, even slightly. Small changes add up over time.

WHY

The answer to the WHY can be a combination of the other W’s we’ve already looked at.

Do you have a scarcity mindset, or FOMO?

Do you have self limiting beliefs about what you’re capable of? Do you believe you aren’t capable of change? Do you believe you’re destined to be overweight and/or unfit for the rest of your life? Did you have a bad experience in gym class or on the playground as a kid?

Are there interactions with people/situations that form your thoughts around food, or your relationship with food?

Do you use food to numb emotions, or to avoid dealing with hard emotions/people/situations? Do you use food to fill holes in your soul?

What generational messaging have you incorporated into your way of living that holds you back?

Are you a perfectionist; an all-or-nothing thinker? 

Do you believe you don’t deserve to make your health and wellness a priority? Do you believe it’s your job to care for everyone else before yourself?

Were you subjected to abusive rhetoric around body image? Do you not feel heard, seen, respected, loved, valued, or included? 

Lots of hard things to lean into here. But, having answers to these kinds of questions will be a catalyst for optimizing your wellness, regardless of your goals.

Dig into your 5 W’s of Wellness and create your HOW!

Keep coming forward - Coach K